Life of Loco

Dearest,

I haven't expected anything from you more than a call. All I wanted is just a call from you and saying what you feel about me. 

Miss me?

I don't know. But I know that I miss you like hell. In this hell of unknown people, unknown groups, unknown couples, friends, families, kids, I wanted you to talk to me. I just miss you with each and every part of my heart. All my tears at midnights are the witness of me missing you. If my tears could speak, those would still fail to tell you how much I miss you.

The one who could explain is also lost. My heart. It doesn't speak much nowadays. It is lost, my dear. Once your heart is lost, you will know what it was to you. Wherever my heart is, I know you are still there in it. It still carries the same and perhaps more love for you. It still carries our memories. Memories that had a start but not an end. Memories, that would speak much more than my tongue. Memories that doesn't let my heart forget you.

I miss you like hell. Do we breath in hell? Maybe. But in this world, I miss you with every breath. Each breath reminds me of you. Why my breath is so possessive on you rather than me!

How could you live such a normal life without me! How! Is that why we made tons of memories? How could you forgot our walking, photos, restaurants memories! How!

How on this earth anyone can forget a touch from the dearest one! Does that make me so backdated! I prefer it. I don't want to forget your touch. I am unable to express my love. Now those touch, those memories are all that I have. How would I even take a breath without those!

All the time, I look to mobile, waiting for a call from an unforgettable number! I look forward to your voice! I look forward to see you, touch you, hold you. I look forward to keep you in my heart forever. 

I am really alone, my dear! I can't go with this life. 

Sometimes, probably most of the time, I feel to resign. Resign from job, resign from life. How could anyone live this life! The memories sometimes make me so happy! and then sometimes it feels like a burden. I want to forget those! No, I won't. I don't want to! But why not! Why shouldn't I!

I got none to talk. None to gossip with, none to do bitching with.

I miss you like hell, dearest. I miss you more and more.

If I die, I will die with all those burden. All those touch and all those waiting for you...

You know who!

Forever and ever,

The one who never stopped loving you